Fighting between siblings is a common problem in family relationships. Don't give up hope! There are ways to deal with sibling rivalry. Without trying to be hurtful, we can sometimes set up our children to not get along well by adding to the natural competition and comparing children to each other. Research has shown that people often continue to play roles in adulthood that they acquired as children. 

Common reasons why siblings fight are: to get another child in trouble, to take revenge, or simply wanting parents' attention. Parents who feel compelled to create an equal environment for children can actually end up creating siblings who feel the constant need to compare everything to make sure they have their fair share. Additionally, children often don't know how to vent angry feelings in an appropriate manner. 

Here are some practical solutions:

1. Tell children what needs to be said without comparing them to others. 

2. Don't lock children into roles. All children are unique and have the capacity to learn and grow at their own pace. 

3. Allow children to vent frustrations and feelings in healthy ways helps get rid of the need to be hostile with each other. Try to get children to work out situations among themselves whenever possible. 

4. Give children the attention they need and applaud them when they are behaving appropriately. 

Children don't need to be treated equally — they need to be treated and loved uniquely.